She's home!

We made it through another hospital stay- hopefully the last for a long time. Poor Brylee- how she manages to stay so good natured is beyond me! I find myself feeling bitter, at times, because of all she and our family (mostly her, though) have been through and I wonder if there's an end to this! We have a wonderful pediatrician, who is so concerned about her and takes special precautions where she is concerned. Example- he had the hallways cleared before he let us leave the hospital so she couldn't contract any other sick childs germs; That same day he called his office and had a nurse meet us in his other office that was closed so she could get her RSV immunizations and not have to be in the wating room with sick kids (there are 5 of these shots total, they are EXTREMELY expensive and must be approved my your insurance, and it's not a vaccination that the hospital has); he had a member of his staff take her RSV vaccination to another Drs. office on Xmas eve (he wasn't in that day) so she could receive her shot before we went out of town for Xmas; he calls my home just to check on her- the list goes on and on. His name is Dr. Richard Later, by the way, and we feel like we are in the best of hands so if any of you are looking for a new doctor...

Anyway, our Brylee is a special child meant to do great things, or we would have lost her many times. I'm feeling a little guilty that she's all I talk about when I have 3 other kids, but their lives are quite simple compared to hers! Believe it or not, we love and adore them all equally and they are all super special in their own, unique ways. They are so good! They've been shuffled around between family members, never knowing if mom is going to be home after school, wondering if their sister will be ok and if their lives will ever be normal- the list goes on and on and they have been such good sports. With that being said there's a special bond beyond the bond of just being a parent that comes from watching a child fight for her life and never leaving her side. You think of nothing else besides what she's going through, will she make it, and how will you go on if she doesn't. It's one of those things you deal with- not because you are strong, but because you have no choice. Life is so fragile- it's such a blessing and a gift- I don't think I'll ever look at it the same or take it for granted again. I hope because of this experience that I will always love and appreciate my children and the opportunity I have to be their mother. I would hate for something to happen to any one of them and wish I would've done things differently, paid more attention, gave them more hugs, had more patience, etc. etc. etc. I'm SO not perfect as a mother, or wife or anything else, but I'm trying and that's all I can do.

When did this get so emotional? That's Stephanie's job to be so deep thinking and phylisophical! I don't even remember at what point I started crying- I guess because I'm just used to it. Anyway, this is a good day for us and we look forward to many more!